Dear Oprah

I think I'm not a good person, you know?
Let me explain.
Sometimes when not very nice things happen to people who did me wrong I really don't feel sorry for them.
I have a friend, she is much younger than me. She could be my daughter but she's my friend.
She's funny and I like to be with her.
But at the same time, she's terribly immature.
Sometimes even her kids who are teenagers are more mature than she is.
In order to help her with money sometimes I pass her some of the translations I have and when she sends it back to me there is always mistakes. Mistakes that would easily be corrected if she only tried to pass the orthographic corrector they have on Word (Microsoft Office).
She 's careless and negligent and I always end up having to spend a lot of time on a work I'll be paying.
And I always pay her. Always!
Well, finally she applied for an agency to be a translator (subtitles) and was approved (I was with her when she did the test and helped her). Now I have to say, she really needs to make more money because her ex-husband doesn't help and she has to pay for everything.
I work for the same agency.
Last week she received her first assignment. She has to deliver it next Tuesday (today is Sunday).
A friend of hers on Wednesday send a message proposing a barbecue party at her parents this Sunday.
I told her to be sure she would have time enough to finish her work because her client is counting on her.
She was really excited about the party and said that it won't be a problem.
Last night, at 3 in the morning she sent me a message asking if I would go to the party and I said no because I also have a movie to translate to deliver on Tuesday.
This morning she sends me a message saying that it was a bad idea to have the barbecue party because the work is more difficult than she expected and now she was worried if she was going to be able to deliver it in time.
I didn't even answered her message.
I think that she has to suffer to understand how difficult it was for me to deal with her bad work when  I needed it properly done.
Or my other friend who always calls me when she's broke and can't go out with her other friends.
She asks me to go to her place because she doesn't have money to go out and I always have lots of good movies on my computer.
Why can't she come to my house?
At the end, I realize that I really enjoy my company.
I spend all weekend at home with my dog, my work, my books and it's enough for me.
The thing is, I went to all the parties I wanted, I had real fun with people once in my life and nowadays I only want the real thing. I want to be loved and not used.
Maybe I am not a good person but I do think that these women if they suffer a little they will learn a lot about how life really is.
Tonight the Oscar.

Dear Oprah

Writing oyu twice in a day?
Well, it shows how disturbed sometimes I can be.
I went out to have dinner with a friend and her daughter. My friend says I'm grumpy and I am not.
No, not grumpy. Sad? Probably.
Tomorrow would be my husband birthday.
So what? It's been 20 years since we last celebrated his birthday.
He would be 63 years old tomorrow.
How would my life have been if he was alive?
That's something I'll never know.
So, are you going to the Oscar?
I'd love to know your favorite movie this year.
My favorite is Spotlight but I know that it won't win.
I do believe it will be The Revenant and that this time DiCaprio is going to take the well deserved statue home.
He's a fantastic actor.
I hated Titanic but he was great even then.
Spotlight is my favorite because I would love to see all the hypocrits in this world in jail.
Not only priests.
I was raised as a Catholic and I certainly am Christian but what people do using religion is despisable.
In fact if we think what people with any kind of power are able to do with those who are under said power is nauseating.
Maybe that the reason I am so afraid of Donald Trump becoming president.
He would humiliate those he dislike.
He would be a big cancer for America.
We have one of those here in Brazil.
In fact, we have lots of them in politics. They are disgusting.
Sometimes I would love to live not only in another country but in another planet.
How can people be so mean?

Dear Ophah

Hi dear!
Another crazy week went by and I worked as a mad one but oh so happy because as long as I am doing what I like I'm happy.
I hate mean people. People who are rude to others with no reason. Plain mean people.
So I was wondering how is it possible that so many Americans are supporting Donald Trump.
He plays the crazy one but I don't think he's crazy. I think he is simply rude. Almost cruel.
And he enjoys it.
I certainly pray asking God to spare the world for him being the president of the most important nation in the world.
With him we are certainly heading to World War III.
I saw a picture of you today.
You look fantastic.
Being Weight Watcher's associate really helped you to lose weight.
I should join it. I really should.

Dear Oprah

I'm not a good person.
Yeah! I'm not!
Sometimes I just wish I could move to the moon, or Mars and be left alone.
People are tiring.
I'm really unhappy with my life this week. That's why I need to be submerged with work.
When I don't have a lot of work I think and when I think I'm not happy.
Even if I prayed a lot for work it didn't come and I think is not coming till the end of the day.
Tomorrow is my aunt 91st birthday and I don't want to go to the party.
There are several reasons but the most important one is that when my mom was sick they didn't care to come visit her.
Nobody came give me a hand.
Ever!
And my brother, he hasn't seen me since my mom died 9 months ago. He didn't make an effort to come see me or even to invite me to visit him.
Now he wants me to bring him tomorrow at the party an air conditioning he bought to my mom.
The only reason he wants to see me is because of the air conditioning.
Fuck him.
And fuck everybody.
I am not going.
I don't have to be nice to people that are not nice to me.

Dear Oprah

I'm sad today.
I don't know exactely why but I feel sad.
I miss my mom.
It's been 9 months since she passed away.
All my life I could count on ther. We spent the last 20 years together in this house.
I worked, she took care of the house.
The last 10 years I took care of her because she had a stroke and later, when she got better she had some heart troubles and broke her leg and had câncer.
But she was so funny and when I got sad and depressed she would pray for me and I believed when she prayed because, I don't know, it was like God listend to her.
Sometimes I feel so...powerless.
Like I never know what my life is going to be tomorrow.
I'm 58 years old. I'm not getting any younger and every day is a struggle.
Well, enough of my pity party right?

Dear Oprah

Gosh I worked as a dog the last few days.
I translated and subtitled 3 movies in a week. It's a lot.
We don't realize how much people talk on movies and series but they talk really much.
Not in French movies though.
Despite my French origins I don't like most of the French movies.
Ok, let me be honest - There are few French things I like and most of them is food or wine.
My great grand-mother was French and my husband was French.
I lived in France for 6 years.
The worse 6 years in my life.
Today, 21 years after I left France, I realize that my time there was so bad because I was young, I wasn't realistic and I expected people there to be kind to me.
Most of French people are not kind.
They don't mean to be rude, they just are. Even among themselves.
My husband's family wasn't kind to me at all. They were outraged because he was married to a Brazilian girl.
To tell you the truth if I were from Belgium or Switzerland it would be the same. The thing is - I am not French.
In their narrowed mind French people should marry French people. Period.
My father-in-law would say to me that my kids were French and when I replied that both of them were born in Brazil he came "If a cat gives birth in the oven are her kittens cookies?".
For six years they showed me every time they were able that I wasn't welcome there.
The funny thing is that after my husband died they started to be very very kind to me.
It was crazy.
Then I realized that their grandchildren were living with me.
It was up to me to keep them in contact with their French family.
And I did it.
My kids would phone their grandparents every week, spend summer vacations and Christmases with them, never forget a French family birthday.
Because to me what is important is not where you were born- family is family.
My parents in law adored my son.
He was their favorite.
And that's to say a lot because they had 16 grandchilden.
My son is the second. He has always been the apple of my father-in-law eyes.
My son was the first to go to the university and got an engineering degree, as it was my father in law greatest dream - to have an engineer in the family. Don't ask me why.
He was dead by the time Patrick - my son - got his degree but I'm sure wherever he is he was so proud.
Well, I definitely am get old. Most of my time here is talking to you about old times.
But, never mind. We can consider it my memoirs.
Hope you have a wonderful day Oprah.

Dear Oprah

No! I didn't forget you. No way!
I've been working very very hard.
Last week I had a little more than 48 hours to translate and subtitle a 102 minutes movie.
But what a movie!
If you can go see "Misconduct" with sir Anthony Hopkins and Al Paccino.
It was the best movie I've worked on till now.
But I worked 30 hours straight. I barely stopped to eat and shower.
After I delivery the movie I received another one, a documentary for Netflix, 80 minutes and I have to send it back on Wednesday morning.
And I have a movie-test to send back on the 15th, If I pass this test I'll be working with a huge company here in Brazil but as a freelancer.
I don't want ever again to be someone's employee.
But I know that we should never say never.
My daughter decided to come visit me for a week in April.
We are going together to Coldplay concert.
Talking about Coldplay, have you seen the Super Bowl last night?
I was amazed to see Lady Gaga singing the American anthem. It was extraordinary.
And the Half-Time concert was really one of the best.
Gosh I cried!
I just love Coldplay and Bruno Mars and even if I'm not Beyoncé biggest fan I thing she's a great artist.
Oh, I need to tell you something: as I know you are such a crazy reader as I am I have a book to recommend you, if you haven't read it yet - Hidden Secrets by Carolyn Brown.
I loved it.
It's very well written and the story of 4 generation women that suddenly start to live together is beautiful.
I'm sure you are going to enjoy.
I haven't heard anything about you these days so I don't know if you have already moved to Colorado or not.
My brother, sister-in-law and three nieces are in Vail, Co this week.
They went there to ski and enjoy some cold weather instead of the hell's heat we are having here in Brazil these days.
Here is Carnaval.
I hate Carnaval!
Ok, so now I'm going to attack back my work.
I hope you have a wonderful week.
Love you, Oprah.

Dear Oprah

What a day!
It's hot in Brazil.
Not warm! No! Really hot!
And I had lots of errands to do so I spent part of my day on the streets, going from the bank to the post office from the post office to the supermarket and so on...
Anyway I prefer days like these than staying home doing nothing.
I didn't receive any translation today but I'm pretty optimistic that it will come.
Also I thought of you today when I did two not very smart things. I mean, not that I thought of you because they weren't smart things but I thought I would love to share with you.
I was always very angry with my mom when she would put something to cook on the stove and went to sit in front of television and ended to forget about the pan on the stove and not only the food was burnt but also the pan.
Well, today, after the food was ready and on its conteiner, I put some water and detergent on the pan and put it on the stove so it was going to be easier to clean later. But my smartphone rang and I went to pick it up on my bedroom and then I sat in front of my computer and... of course I forgot about the pan. I just realized that something was wrong when I smelled something burning.
Well, now I have a black black pan.
And also I was always telling my mom to pay attention whe she bent to pick something on the lower kitchen cabinets leaving a door on the upper cabinet opened because she could hit her head and as she was an old lady it could be really dangerous.
Can you guess what I did?
Exactly! I opened an upper cabinet door didn't closed it and bent to pick something on the lower cabinet. Bang!
I hit my head so hard that I almost fell down.
I was angry with myself but could not help a good laugh thinking my mother was laughing in Heaven.
Or, as my daugther says: Karma is a bitch.
I hope you had a great day,
It's pretty early on the USA so you still have some time to enjoy your day.