Dear Oprah,

I wish I could understand how things develop in life, but I don't.

2024 has been a interesting year.

I had to reinvent myself. Again.

I've done that so many times in my life that I believe I was born kind of 30 times.

It isn't enough being me, I have to be the mother, the grandmother, the sister, the friend, the translator, the teacher, the therapist, the listener.

So many "mes" to show to the world almost everyday.

Some days, like today, I wish I could just lie in my bed and not intereact with the world, but it's impossible.

I have classes to give.

 Dear Oprah,

Second time today, wow!

I was thinking about Christmas and how much I don't like this time of the year.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Jesus coming to this world to save us, but I do hate what people have made of this date.

Few people give Jesus a thought during Christmas time.

It's all about presents and people getting around a table and most of the time, people who don't even like each other.

Here in Brazil they eat too much, they think it's more important to dress up and eat a feast and drink a lot.

They got in debt to buy Christmas gifts and not everybody gives money (or food) for those who needs it.

It's all kind of hypocritical, if you want my opinion.

For many years now I spend Christmas eve and day alone.

I used to go to stay with my children during this time of the year, but not only it is horribly expensive to buy tickets but also it's the same think: people pretending they care about one another when they really don't.

My daughter in-laws are not bad but they are not nice either.

I feel like I make them uncomfortable.

And I don't feel comfortable around them as well.

I have to smile and be... nice.

And they give too much presents for the kids.

Too much.

So much so that they don't get to enjoy any.

They are overwhelmed.

It would be nice to have a small Christmas dinner with only us around a table with not too much food and not to many presents and everybody laughing and enjoying each other company.

 Dear Oprah,

Things haven't changed since last time I wrote here, but I guess I have.

Yes, I am still lonely.

Yes, my friends still just call me or come to me when they need something and yes, my daughter is still a huge pain in my ass, but it is like it doesn't matter.

It simply doesn't matter.

All the horrible things my daughter says to me and about me online, is just like white noise.

Sometimes it hurts because life could be so much different, but it isn't and I guess I just come to peace with myself about it.

No matter what I would like my life to be, it is what it is and if I can't say I am happy, at least I can say I am in peace.

I sleep and don't have nightmares.

I go to the gym, I work, I have my students, and my faith and suddenly it is like it is just what I need.

We always want what we can't have.

We think that we know what is best for us, but do we really?

Probably if we could just trust in God, or Divine Power and let things be, it will all come to a better end than if things were as we wished they were.

For the first time in a long, long time, I feel peace in my heart.