Let's get started

Dear Oprah,
You don't know me.
Of course, you don't know me I am in Brazil you are in the USA and our lives couldn't be more disparate.
But I'm a fan like probably millions of others you have around the world and I'd really really like to be your friend, you know, the kind of a friend we sit together to have a cup of coffee and talk about everything and nothing?
The kind of a friend we can weep over for the most stupid reason and she/he will never say that is stupid?
Well, I think you got it.
I don't know if you have friends like this. I don't!
Oh yes I do have friends and some of them, most of them are amazing but I don't have a friend who I can call at 3 AM and say that I am afraid thinking what the future has for me.
I don't have a friend who understands that sometimes I just want to sit beside her/him without talking, just being there.
I'm a pretty funny 58-year-old lady.
I have two fantastic kids: a boy, Patrick, 29 and a girl Marie Louise, 27.
Patrick has been living in Quebec for almost three years now. He's an engineer and married to an awesome woman, Eline. She's Brazilian and when first she went to live there with him I really didn't think she was going to stay. You know, she didn't speak French or English, she didn't have a job and her parents and sister are here in Brazil so... But when I say she's awesome is because she proved to be a stronger and more determined woman than I thought was possible. Within 2 years she learned French and English and got a job. She faces the tough weather with a smile and most importantly she loves my son.
Marie Louise has been in the USA for 6 years and been married to Philipp for almost 4 years now.
She went to the States as an au pair and was supposed to stay two years but then she met Phillip and...
The American family she went to live with became our family. I love them deeply.
My daughter is one of the most outstanding people I've known.
She's brave, compassionate, witty and she never, ever gives up no matter how hard her objective is.
Os course sometimes we disagree, sometimes we argue but I would like to be just like her when I grow up.
My husband passed away 20 years ago.
He was 43 I was 38 and the kids 9 and 7.
God, it was hard.
He had a heart attack at home, in the middle of the night and there was nothing to do to help him.
He was the love of my life and these last 20 years I went out with some men but there's no point.
I still love him and I still feel like I am married to him so I don't even try to find another love.
I am a teacher. I teach English and French and I am also a translator. Mostly I translate and subtitle series and movies but also some technical documents.
When I was a kid my parents made me study languages and today I am so grateful because not only  I love what I do but mostly because I can travel all over the world and communicate.
I have a Business diploma and I worked as an assistant manager for many years for G.E. but I have to say, I never loved working with business.
When my husband died my mother came living with me so she could look after my kids while I was working.
My parents were pretty old when I was born. My father was 48 and Mom 37. I have a brother 4 years younger than me.
Last year my mother died at 94.
Her last 3 years were hard on both of us.
I spent most of my time taking care of her so I didn't go out, or had much time for myself. But I'm not complaining. It was a privilege being by her side.
She was funny, compassionate and never complained about anything.
So, I've been completely alone for 9 months now.
I work, I go out from time to time with some friends, I take care of Jack, my 13-year-old Pug and read.
Now I have to tell you that you are the reason I got my first Kindle.
Yeah, I was watching your program and you were talking about how wonderful it was to be able to travel with hundreds of books on a single device and I was like "Oh my God I have to have one of these".
Of course, we didn't have Kindle in Brazil at that time and the price in dollars was well above my budget.
For months, I dreamed about it then one day my brother's friend died and this guy had one and his family didn't want to keep it so my brother asked if it was ok for me to have it and they agreed.
I am now on my fourth Kindle. I even have a spare one because I'm utterly addicted to it.
What do I read?
Almost only about love. Love stories, sexy stories.
Why? Because I am so lonely.
There's one thing, only one thing I've wanted most of my life Oprah: for people to see me. To really see me.
For them to see who I am, how I feel.
When I was 20 I used to sing. I'm a damn good singer. I really am.
I wanted to sing professionally but I was not brave enough to go against my father so... I took the easier road: to study something I didn't give a damn about, find a good enough job and try to be happy.
Let's be honest I was lucky because I always worked on good jobs, I met my husband, had my kids, I traveled more than a lot of people.
The thing is, since my husband died I became invisible.
I even joke about it calling myself "The invisible woman".
For many years, I was the mom, the person who worked to bring bread to their table. The daughter who tried to manage a job, a house, a sick mother, 2 young people, a cat and a dog.
My friends say that I am strong.
They know nothing.
I am not strong. 99% of the time I am just playing a role. Inside I am a mess.
But I am so tired of being invisible and I don't know what to do Oprah for people see me?
Do we always have to tell? Can't people just look at us and see?
I have a friend, she has been my friend for more than 30 years.
She's 60 and single. She's an engineer, has a very good job, makes good money.
She calls me every week. Every single week.
Despite the fact that we've been living in different cities for 20 years we sometimes meet: always in São Paulo where she lives.
Do I invite her to come to my house?
Of course, I do. But... she has never come.
I've lived here for 20 years and she has never come visit me.
She was on my mom funeral as I was at her parents funeral. She was on my son's graduation party and we go out to a movie or dinner together but always I have to go to where she lives.
The same I can say about my cousins.
Look I live 100 km from them (62 miles) let's be sincere, it's not far at all.
They are always saying they miss me but they want me to go to them. Always.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
I don't know.
There was a time where I thought I had many friends but it's a long story.
So, Oprah, despite our lives completely different, despite the fact that you are never going to know me I decided that you are going to be my friend.
Better than having an imaginary friend, isn't it?
Why you and not somebody else?
Mainly because I consider you one of the most intelligent people alive. Not only intelligent but you seem to be someone who really really cares about others and that you have your head over your shoulders.
You are not affected to all this bullshit of money and fame.
Do you like money? Yeah. I'm sure you do. How could you not?
But money doesn't rule your life.
Would I like to have money? Sure! But sincerely I don't think it would change who I am inside. You know, this person who lives inside me? I don't think money or anything can change.
You help people and that's something I would love to do.
My daughter is dyslexic. She had a very hard time when she was a kid and I had to learn ways to help her.
I read all the literature about dyslexia and took classes at the Brazilian Association for Dyslexics to learn how to help her.
I worked from 6 AM to 6 PM and after that, I would study with her. Help her with her homework.
I can say that I kind of became an expert on learning disabilities and methods to help kids and adults to overcome their difficulties.
I would love to build a place to train teachers and parents to help those kids and adults.
In fact, there are so many things I would like to do but I don't know how I don't know where to start when I work almost 7 days a week to pay for my living.
Too many different subjects for a post, isn't it?
Well, anyway, the thing is Oprah, you have a new friend.
I am pretty sure you'll never call me at 3 AM to say you can't sleep and would like to chat or that I'll be able to go have a coffee with you but writing here even if you'll never read my lines I'm sure is gonna help me.
Thank you, Oprah.
God bless you.
Talk to you soon.