Dear Oprah,

I'd love to know why I mean so little to people that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, calls to know if I am well.

It's like if I desappeared from the Earth people wouldn't even notice.

I mean, my daughter would realize because she calls me from Monday to Friday.

The weekends she is busy with her family and she supposes that if I need her I would call.

My son would take more than a week and just because he would look at the camera in the living room where he sees me come and go.

But my so called friends?

Maybe it would take months for them to notice my absence.

Isn't it funny?

It's always me who calls to know if they are OK, if they need anything.

People are so self centered that they can't see when something is not right with the person right next to them.

My brother? It's been weeks.

But when he isn't doing well he calls me and rents my ears for hours.

For Mother's day my daughter-in-law bought a present and made it delivered here.

Nice, right?

Yeah, the idea was not nice, but it would be much nicer if she had asked me what I wanted/needed, because she sent me pricey soap, body lotion and body splash, and what I really wanted was a bottle (1 liter) of olive oil.

Because olive oil is very expansive here in Brazil right now and she probably spent more in the gift she bought then she would spend if she had bought me the olive oil, and I would be much more happier.

She gave me a gift she would love to receive.

And that's what most people do: they don't care what the other person wants or need. They give what they would like to receive.

Right, the Bible says "Treat other how you would like they treat you" but I do believe it doesn't mean it literally.

Anyway, I feel so lonely and so depressed that I would want to roll into a ball and sleep forever.

Even my dreams are crazy.

Last night I dreamed that I was in a very fancy airport, going somewhere.

It was really fancy and we took the elevator and when down but there there was several WC stalls and in a upper level (like two steps) there was a lounge and it was flooded.

People were literally walking with water on their shins and the strange thing was that the water didn't fall down to the WC stalls.

I decided to use the WC before getting on the plane, but every time I was going to get into a stall someone went before me.

I saw a stall, a big one, on the corner and when I got there there was lots of vegetables on the floor.

Like someone had poured a kitchen trash on the floor.

It was horrible, but I really needed to use the WC and of course, they were not in good shape.

I woke up.

Every night I have crazy dreams.

The other night it was King Charles ice swimming.

I don't know if I am not losing my mind.

Anyway, that's me.

No money, no work, no friends, no love, nothing.

I miss my Vivi.

I love Elena and Gabriel, of course, I love them very much.

But Vivi is my oldest, Vivi makes me laugh and we have that connection.

In fact, to be real, I miss all of them.